


Failed To Deliver

by choniandswangs



Series: Late Love [1]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Crying, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Mentions of Death, Sad, Sadness, Texting, Unrequited love except it’s not and sweet pea’s dumb, a lot of crying, dumb boys, fangs fogarty - Freeform, i cant write happiness, i cant write much in general but heyho, mentions of a shooting, sad stuff, swangs, sweet but sad, sweet pea - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 07:36:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18687019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choniandswangs/pseuds/choniandswangs
Summary: This is set just after the Serpents have dropped Fangs off at the hospital after he was shot.Mentions of the shooting, blood.





	Failed To Deliver

**Author's Note:**

> This is set just after the Serpents have dropped Fangs off at the hospital after he was shot.  
> Mentions of the shooting, blood.

Sweet Pea didn’t know how he’d managed to hold in his sobs for so long. 

By the time they started to claw up his throat and escape, Toni was leading him into his trailer silently. She’d had tears streaming down her face the whole time, but neither of them had said a word. What could they have said? Their best friend was laying somewhere probably half dead and there was nothing either of them could do about it. 

Toni lead Sweet Pea over to the sofa, and he sat down. Toni hesitated, then. She didn’t want to leave and have them both be on their own. Not when she was now hyper aware that any second could be their last together. 

Sweet Pea noticed her hesitation, and cleared his throat before speaking. 

“I... Toni, I need to be alone now.”

His voice was so hoarse and sad and  scared , and Toni had never heard that before with Sweet Pea. He was always so bold and so confident and in-your-face. He was never that quiet or timid. 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” She returned, genuinely worried about what Sweet Pea might do when he was alone. 

He was an impulsive, irrational person sometimes and she’d never even seen him in a situation close to this. They were in a gang- of course they’d seen each other bloodied and bruised, and there were a few times that Sweet Pea or Joaquin had broken bones but nothing like this. This was insane, this was something they never thought any of them would have to deal with let alone  Fangs . Fangs was the baby, the innocent one who would never hurt a fly. He was the one who got picked on and teased because it was so easy to make his face flush and lips pout. He was such a genuine, kind hearted, loving person and this happening to him of all people really solidified the fact that the world was an awful, no good, rotten place. 

Sweet Pea finally looked up at her, and Toni had to bite at the inside of her cheek to stop herself sobbing at his face. 

It was red raw, with tears staining his cheeks and his bottom lip quivering and his eyelids were drooping like it was too much effort to stay awake and keep them open. 

“I can’t be around anyone now.”

Toni understood. Different people reacted diffeeently to these things, and whilst she wanted to hug everyone she loved and hold them close, Sweet Pea wanted to be alone and she knew she had to respect that. 

She’d never say it out loud, because he’d flat out deny it and scold her, but she knew that Sweet Pea cared about Fangs more than he did anyone else. It was obvious just by looking at him sometimes. He’d do silly little things like pull Fangs through crowds by holding his hand, or wipe his tears off his face so gently, or hug him through his nightmares. It was sweet, and Toni knew what it all meant. She’d known for months, and it had just become more and more clear as time went on. 

“Look after yourself, Pea. I can’t lose both of my brothers today.”

Sweet Pea full on sobbed at that, and stood up to squeeze her tightly. She responded by tightening her arms around his shoulders. 

“Anything you need, I’m here. Okay? I’m here for you, you’re not alone. Do you understand me?”

Sweet Pea nodded into her shoulder before pulling back and wiping his eyes. It was only as he did that that he saw the blood all over his hands, and let out a heavy breath. 

“Do you still-“

“Please go.”

Toni nodded and turned to leave. She got to the door, and then realised she had something she needed to say. 

“I love you. I know we don’t tell each other that, but I do.”

Sweet Pea swallowed thickly, nodding, “I love you too.”

Toni gave a small smile, then exited the trailer. The moment the door closed behind her Sweet Pea stumbled to the kitchen sink and began scrubbing his hands. 

The blood on them was dark and sticky now, and it was up his sleeves and all over his shirt and his jacket and his jeans but it was on his hands and thats what bothered him. It was too much of a metaphor, reminded him too much that he could’ve stopped this. That he should’ve seen what was happening, should’ve known sooner, should’ve saved Fangs. 

All the promises he’d made were useless now. Every plan they’d had for the future may as well have been burned. Every fleeting moment and ever second of bliss they’d had may as well have never existed. 

To top it all off, Sweet Pea knew he was the reason none of it had ever gone further. If he’d been honest and admitted that he did have feelings for Fangs, maybe Fangs wouldn’t have been hooking up with Midge. Maybe he’d have avoided this whole situation, would’ve barely even been aware of it. 

But instead Sweet Pea’d insisted they’d never be more than friends. Even after the quick, hasty kisses and the nights they’d fall asleep in each others arm. 

Just friends. 

Sweet Pea let out a shaky sigh and looked back down at his hands, thankful that the water was now running clear and the only red tinge to his hands was from scrubbing them so harshly. There was no blood left. 

He still felt it, though. Still felt like he was the reason all this had happened. 

He needed to explain himself and apologise, but he didn’t know how to when he didn’t even know where Fangs was. 

He could call him, but there was no way he’d pick up because he was probably in surgery. And he could write a letter, but what if he didn’t get it until it was too late? 

The only thing he could think of was to text him. And it felt stupid, too informal and  normal for a situation like this, but it was the only thing he could think of. 

Sweet Pea unlocked his phone and scrolled through to find his text chain to Fangs. He felt a small smile on his lips when he saw the last text Fangs had sent, it was a stupid inside joke they had about Sweet Pea’s unknown father being a giraffe. 

Then he remembered the situation and any hint of a smile disappeared straight away. 

His hands were shaky and his vision blurry as he typed, but he managed it anyway. 

‘Fangs’

‘I know there’s a chance you’ll never get to read these’

‘And i know thats my fault’

‘Ill never forgive myself for letting you get hurt’

‘Or killed’

He let out a sob at that, the thought of having to bury the best person he knew made his chest hurt. 

‘Fuck fangs. Please dont die’

‘I dont think you know how much you mean to me’

‘I just told Topaz i love her for the first time ever’

‘I never told you that but I do’

‘I know we joke about me being emotionally constipated but im not fangs’

‘I know what i feel’

‘I love you’

‘And i mean like a friend. I mean like i love you as someone to be around and as a support system’

Sweet Pea groaned. He felt stupid that he’d clarified that. He didn’t know whether Fangs was dead or alive, if he’d ever see him again, and he still hid what he felt. 

‘But i do have other feelings too’

‘I dont know what they are and i dont understand them’

‘Because i dont like guys in general’

‘Just you’

‘And i know that sounds pathetic, sounds like im tryingto ‘no homo’ my feelings for you but im not’

‘If you make it through this please let me try to show you how much you mean to me’

‘I know now’

And that was true. It had taken years of confusion and doubt to realise it, but he liked Fangs in the exact same way he’d usually like girls. And did that mean that he  did  like guys, and just didn’t know it? Probably. But he didn’t care about the other guys- or girls, for that matter- he only cared about Fangs. 

‘I should have said sooner, i know that’

‘When you asked me, or told me how you felt, I should’ve been honest’

One memory flew through Sweet Pea’s mind: the day Fangs told him he was bisexual. Sweet Pea had jokingly (and it was a joke- he just hadn’t thought about it) said “as long as you don’t want to screw me”. Fangs’ face had fell and he’d looked so upset and it took  weeks  for Sweet Pea to drag the truth out of him. Fangs had explained that that was a common negative response to coming out and Sweet Pea had never felt so guilty in his life- he made some dumb joke that made Fangs think he couldn’t be himself around him. He’d apologised so much and explained that he hadn’t even thought about it and everything was fine between them again, but Sweet Pea just did not stop apologising. The thought of Fangs being uncomfortable around him broke his heart. 

‘I’m sorry for everything I said. I know you told me i wasnt allowed to apologise for that any more but this could be my last chance’

‘And im sorry for lying to you so many times’

It was about a year after Fangs came out that they had their first  _moment_   together. They were with Toni and Joaquin, and Joaquin had made a joke about how Sweet Pea was the only one there who’d never kissed a boy. Sweet Pea didn’t like feeling left out, and leaned over to kiss Fangs. Fangs kissed back, and they’d both felt something they hadn’t expected to. Neither of them looked each other in the eye for the rest of the night, and their cheeks stayed bright. 

It was months after that that it happened again. They’d just outrun the sherrifs that were chasing them for tagging some cop cars and were laughing so hard, and they were out of breath and had endorphins flooding their systems and Fangs had grinned, wrapped an arm around Sweet Pea’s neck, and pulled him down into a kiss. Sweet Pea had responded by wrapping his arms around Fangs’ shoulders, and they’d walked home with Sweet Pea’s arm around his shoulders. They slept curled up together that night, and neither of them mentioned it again. 

Then Fangs got the news that his Mom was sick- dying, really, but he hadn’t known that then- and he’d gone to Sweet Pea. He hadn’t even thought of going to anyone else. Sweet Pea’d held him to his chest and shushed him, kissing his head and playing with his hair until he fell asleep. They woke up entangled in the bed again, and neither of them spoke of it. 

That became a regular occurrence- whenever one of them didn’t feel good, they’d only have to lean into the other one’s side or give them a look and they’d know they wouldn’t be sleeping alone that night. There were a few awkward moments, yes, but mostly it was just so sweet and comforting. 

‘I did feel something that day. I felt a lot’

That was referring to the latest in the long list of  _moments_   between them. 

Sweet Pea had gotten into a fight and came out worse for wear, and Toni was nowhere to be found. She was the one who usually tended to their wounds and scolded them for being dumb, and so Fangs had to step in. His hands had been shaking because he was so nervous to hurt his best friend, and Sweet Pea had calmed him by kissing his hands. 

Once Fangs had cleaned all the wounds and put gauze over the worst ones, he’d gone to start scolding Sweet Pea like Toni did. Sweet Pea’d shut him up by pulling him down onto his lap, and Fangs was a fairly lonely, desperate, new-to-openly-liking-guys guy and he’d been shamelessly checking out the shirtless, sweaty hot guy who’s legs he was in between and Sweet Pea had kissed him again, but it was so different to the other times. It wasn’t gentle, sweet kisses like it usually was. This kiss was hot and heavy and it had rendered Fangs breathless, and he’d had to pull back panting. 

Sweet Pea’d taken the chance to move his lips down onto Fangs’ neck, and before long they were both laid on the bed with Sweet Pea about to start taking off Fangs’ clothes and that was when Fangs had to stop and ask if this meant anything. Sweet Pea had said no straight away without any hesitation, and Fangs swallowed harshly, nodded, and apologised and said he couldn’t do it. 

Sweet Pea had looked at him with confusion, and Fangs had looked down and explained. 

“I, uh, want my... first time to be with someone special.” 

Sweet Pea’s eyes had widened, “first time!? I thought you-“

“Yeah, I know,” Fangs had cut him off, “I told you I’d done stuff because everyone else had. I didn’t want to be the weird virgin.”

Sweet Pea had tried to assure him that nobidy would’ve thought of him like that, but the moment was well gone and they actually ended up sleeping in seperate rooms that night. 

‘It meant something to me’

‘You would have been my first time with a boy’

‘But with you I just felt so safe’

‘I’m so sorry if i made you uncomfortable Fangs, I didn’t mean to’

‘And I felt something every time I kissed you and every time we hugged and cuddled I felt it too’

‘I just didnt want that to be true then, because that meant i had to deal with the not being straight stuff and i dont want to deal with that’

‘But now i have to’

‘And i have to do it on my own without you’

‘Fangs please’

‘Just be ok for me please’

‘I love you so much’

Sweet Pea’s eyes had filled with tears to the point that he could no longer see the screen and he leant back and let the sobs escape again as the reality set in. 

Everything he’d been putting off was suddenly here, and now he had to face it all alone. He was so convinced that he was going to be fine dealing with the sexuality stuff. After all, he had a guy he loved right there beside him through it all. 

But he didn’t. Not any more. Because some bastard northside kid just shot the best person he’d ever known. Sweet Pea was going to make damn sure that Reggie paid for this, for everything, but he couldn’t do that yet. Not when he was shaking and crying and unable to even see straight. 

If Fangs had been there he would’ve held him, and they would’ve leaned into each other and shared a few slow kisses and it would’ve calmed him down so quickly like it always did. 

He didn’t know how to get through moments like these without Fangs any more. He was so used to them being that support system for each other, holding each others hands through it all both metaphorically and literally. 

He felt a shiver run down his spine and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket, and felt something in one of them. It felt like his phone, so he pulled it out with a confused frown. 

His heart sank. 

It was Fangs’ phone 

Fangs was never going to see any of this. He was never going to know all the things Sweet Pea’d said. 

Sweet Pea just sobbed, leaning over on his side and letting the cries take over his body. He was just done. Done with trying, done with pretending everything was going to be okay. It wasn’t. Things were never going to be okay because the person he loved more than anything, trusted more than anything, cared about more than anything, was dying.


End file.
